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Whether you’re going out to dinner to celebrate, to try a new cuisine or because you just don’t feel like cooking, dining out can be fun and relaxing. However, your dining experience can be soured (sometimes literally) when something goes awry with your food order. If you aren’t one for confrontation, or you’re just feeling uncomfortable, here’s a guide on how to send your food back according to an etiquette professional.
How to Refuse Food Politely, According to an Expert
Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert, author and founder ofThe Protocol School of Texas, offers her advice on when it’s appropriate to send your food back: “When you order an item from the menu, and it comes to the table undercooked, overcooked, over-spiced or is completely the wrong item, you may certainly ask for another without hesitation.”
Here are a few other situations when it would be appropriate to send your food back:
Next time you dine out, make surenotto dothese “polite” habitsthat are actually rude.
Once you’ve identified the issue with your food, now comes the part most people dread: telling the server. Here are a few helpful pointers to keep in mind:
Above all else, “Treat others how you want to be treated,” advises Gottsman. If you snap at your waiter or are aggressive when communicating the issue with your food or drink, things could go further awry.
“When you send a food or drink item back, it’s important to remain pleasant and nonconfrontational. Remember that the server who brought the food was not responsible for cooking the food,” says Gottsman. And if you do meet the chef or someone from the kitchen who was responsible for cooking the food, don’t express your issue angrily with them.
“The bartender may have been heavy-handed, or it simply may be a recipe you do not care for, but asking kindly if they can try again, in a friendly tone of voice, goes a long way in keeping the conversation polite.”
There are a few situations when it isnotOK to attempt returning your food, including:
Gottsman also says that comparing your food to someone else’s, whether you’re dining with them or spotted the food across the restaurant, is not grounds for a replacement. “If you decide that your neighbor’s dish looks better than yours, or your table mate’s cocktail looks prettier and more festive, those are not good reasons to send something back.”
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